Wow.
Craziness.
That is what life feels like most days. It's actually a word that Josiah is using now. Tells you something about what he hears mommy saying all the time.
I am thankful for my three blessings, but there are days when I feel so out of control. Often I think about the Dugger mom with her 19 kids and one more on the way. How did she do it when she just had little ones, before she had older ones to help her out? Did she feel like life was a bit crazy and out of control?
I'm doing a lot. I'm probably doing too much. And that adds to the feeling of craziness. Somedays I feel like I'm spinning plates, and if I take my eyes off one for too long, everything will come crashing down. I'm working, volunteering, exercising, studying, teaching, and trying to manage a household all while juggling two or three kiddos.
The thing that probably makes it all even harder is my own internal drive to do it all as well as I can, some would say "perfectly", but I'm learning that I am actually quite content with something much less than perfection as long as it looks like I tried. Or I'm happy in the moment of trying, and then I look back in the quiet moments at night and I kick myself for not doing thing differently.
I need rest. And I need more time. Probably not my season for either of those things right now.
