As I waited in expectancy for Samuel to make his arrival, I looked ahead to this moment, when I would write the story of his birth. I was excited to think about how it might go, drawing from my two previous birth experiences, yet realizing that this pregnancy was very different and, therefore, my labor would likely be different. And it was.
For starters, I did not go on my own in my 38 week like I did before. With both Silas and Josiah, my labor began at home when my water broke. So when the specialist told me that I was going to be induced if I got to 39 weeks, I thought, "No problem! I should go on my own by then anyhow!"
This time, however, I had to be induced. It was such a strange feeling, showing up for a scheduled induction. I had an appointment. They were expecting me. I had signed paperwork the week before in the doctor's office. The staff all had a plan and they were taking control of my labor. I was not thrilled about it.
And yet, while I had a been waiting for my labor to start on my own, I had plenty of time to pray and while praying, I was comforted by the knowledge that God already knew my labor story - he knew the story of Samuel's birth and it was going to be a good one. I had so much peace that even an induction was not going to rob me of my faith that God was in control. This too was part of his plan.
And so at 8 p.m. on Wednesday, December 15, 2010, I arrived to be induced. My doctor knew my wishes to have a natural labor if possible and so we started the induction as gently as possible with Cervidil. I hadn't really done my research (again, thinking I would go into labor on my own and all this talk about inducing me was just hogwash), and so I didn't realize what was involved. Basically, the nurse inserted something inside me and then told me that I had stay in bed, hooked to a monitor for the next 12 hours, at which time they would remove the drug and check me to see how much I had progressed.
This was not how I wanted my labor to go, being stuck in bed on a monitor. But there I was. I knew I had to try to sleep or else I might be going into the real part of labor completely exhausted. Of course, the bed was incredibly uncomfortable, as were the monitors strapped to my abdomen. But the worst part were the contractions. The Cervidil was working, and so I had painful contractions for 12 hours while I was trying to "sleep". Haha. It was a miserable way to start.
And things were pretty miserable for Steve too. Of course, he came with me for my induction, even though there wasn't much for him to do right away. So he planned to also catch some z's before the real work began. Unfortunately, there was no bed for him, not even one of those rock-hard couches. We debated whether he should go back to his office within the hospital for the night, but one of the nurses rounded up a recliner and he opted to tough it out and stay with me. I was really okay with him going, because there really wasn't any need for him to be there, but I was also glad he stayed so I wasn't alone.
In the morning, the nurse removed the Cervidil and I had high hopes that I would have progressed from barely a fingertip to 4 or 5 cm dialated. I was rather deflated at the news that I was now 2, maybe 3 cm. This was going to take a while. And if I didn't progress quickly enough, I would have to have Pitocin to speed things up, and I did NOT want to have Pitocin.
During my labor with Silas, I was told that I had to have Pitocin because I wasn't progressing fast enough, and therefore, I was putting my baby at risk of infection (I was positive for Group B Strep with all three pregnancies). Being a first time mom and not as educated as I am now, I complied and endured three hours of Pitocin induced labor before I begged for an epidural. Contractions that are artifically induced are so much harder to bare than those one's body does on its own. With the epidural, my labor was just fine; however, my recovery was not so nice, and I blame the epidural for that.
And so I was highly motivated to NOT have pitocin in the midst of this scheduled induction. This was a foreign concept to the nursing staff. When I asked for a room with a tub, they told me I wasn't going to be allowed to get in because I was being induced. But since I had discussed this with my doctor, I knew she was okay with me using the tub, so I pushed back a little. I was told that it's against hospital policy to allow patients on pitocin in the tubs.
Ah ha! They were planning on my labor involving pitocin. They couldn't conceive of it any other way. And so I gently told them that I had discussed my desire to NOT have pitocin with my doctor and that she was okay with that and that we would be taking a more natural approach if possible. I was met with raised eyebrows and feigned comprehension, but I guareentee I was the talk of the nurses station after that. I also refused to put on the hospital gown, which also made me a bit of a nuisance, but again, I played the "my doctor said she was okay with it" card, so they just had to deal with it.
So we were moved to a room with a tub and we settled in. My doula, Jamie, arrived around 10:00 a.m. and we got started on the real labor part. At 11:00 a.m., I was given a dose of antibiotic to protect the baby against the Group B Strep, and so the clock was started. I had 12 hours until I would have to receive a 2nd dose, 12 hours in which I had to have this baby.
Right away, Jamie offered to give me a foot massage, concentrating on some pressure points that are known to induce labor. That was lovely. And then we started walking laps. We walked a ton, which is part of the reason that I didn't want to be in a breezy hospital gown. I felt more like I was visiting a laboring mom, rather than being myself a laboring mom.
After a few hours of walking, I was checked again and was making progress on my own, and so I was allowed to keep going. I had to be checked every hour or so and the baby had to be monitored during a contraction or two to make sure he was tolerating labor, but other than that, I was free to move. By about 3:00, I was tired, and so I took a short nap sitting up in a rocking chair. I wanted to stay vertical so as to keep the baby's head down pushing against my cervic, opening things up, and to prevent my labor from stalling.
Unfortunately, my labor did stall. My contractions had been coming regularly between 5-10 minutes and after my nap, it was more like 15 minutes between. Uh-oh! I got back on my feet and we started walking again. But that wasn't really doing it, so my dear nurse, Katie, recommended using breast pumps for 15 minutes of nipple stimulation to help induce contractions. And it did the trick!
The next step in our natural induction plan was for them to artifically break my water. Thankfully, at about 6:30, my water broke on its own. I was standing and talking with Jamie when I felt a "pop" and then gush! We both laughed and Jamie clapped and just then Katie came in and thought we were extra glad to see her. We were so excited as this was a huge sign that we were on the homestretch.
I kept walking, even with the drips, and we were in the hallway when Steve ran into a colleague of his who also happens to be an OB/GYN. He inquired as to how far along I was and seemed surprised when I told him 6-7 cm. He then asked, "Don't you want a little Pitocin?" Just like a man! Why not ask me, "Don't you want a little crack? Or a little heroin?" No, thank you very much! I'll just keep walking and let my body do this at its own pace.
He walked by us again later when I was leaning on Steve to get through a contraction and commented something like, "Oh, I guess it is for real" but I don't remember for sure because I was concentrating on something else - like coping with labor! I suppose that he was not used to seeing a woman who wasn't taking any drugs for pain management able to manage the pain so well as to have such a normal conversation as we had just had a few moments before. It was so funny because we could have been at a hospital dinner party or something the way we were chatting. So I guess he didn't think I was really as far along as I thought I was. And he's been delivering babies for 20 years!
By about 9:00, I was feeling pretty tired again. I had been at this for 25 hours and even though the first 12 hours weren't really "work", they were really uncomfortable and so I started off a little run down. I got back in bed at 9:00 p.m., laying down on my left side. I closed my eyes and just allowed my body to rest. I was a little worried about stalling again, but I also was considering that I would need my strength for the pushing phase to come, and so I listened to my body and rested.
Because my labor was so long, I went through several shift changes of nurses. We started out with Adriann, then Lisa the Meek, then Katie my Hero, and then Jen & New Girl. New Girl was a bit of a problem. She was so sweet, but had only been on the job for 2 weeks. She had given birth herself just 4 months earlier, and here she was, working a night shift. Poor thing. She was so eager to demonstrate her competance but she just had so much more to learn.
Lessons for New Girl (and all labor and delivery nurses for that matter):
Women who are having natural labor can feel everything - so DON'T TOUCH HER WHILE SHE IS HAVING A CONTRACTION!!!! And don't talk to her either. Wait until the contraction is over, then talk. Thank you.
A few days after Samuel was born, I asked the nurse manager what the epidural rate was for the hospital. She said it was 70-80% but that the anesthesiologists would like to believe it's closer to 90%. And I think that is why these dear nurses are so clueless about what to do with a woman who can feel everything: they are used to a woman who can't. You can touch her whenever, talk to her whenever, and you can take control of her labor because it has now become a medical event in your domain.
Not so with a woman in natural labor. She has to concentrate during those same contractions and annoyances are amplified a hundred fold. A soft tapping on the tummy during a contractions feels like razor blades. And taking a blood pressure cuff off feels like having your arm amputated. Okay, so maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but I think the women who've delivered naturally would agree that it's best to keep distractions to a minimum.
It was because of New Girl that we didn't really alert the nurses nor my doctor that I was getting pretty close. My contractions started to get really strong and I started to feel afraid that I couldn't do it. I asked Jamie and Steve to pray against fear and told them that New Girl was really bothering me, so we had a plan to ask her to be repectful of my contractions when she was in the room next and to not bring them in before we really needed to. And because I was still just resting in bed, I thought I still had a ways to go and my fear was that it was going to be too hard for me to cope.
And then the moaning started. I became that woman, that laboring woman who moans to cope with her contractions. It was a surreal realization. But moaning was effective. It really did help me get through some really painful stuff. My dear doula probably helped more, so maybe the moaning helped her to know that I really needed that counter-pressure she was providing. Either way, I was a moaning, groaning laboring woman. It makes me laugh now.
After about 20 minutes of moaning, I suddenly felt the urge to push, but I didn't feel I had been given permission to push, so I tried to keep my body from pushing. I didn't have a team of nurses and doctors circling me, my feet weren't in stirrups, no bright lights, no mirror, and no counting. I was just laying on my side with Steve on my left and Jamie on my right and so I fought the urge to push. The urge came again, and this time Jamie left to get the doctor, and I really realized how much the counter-pressure she was providing had been helping because I was seized with writhing pain. She came back quickly and apparently, I clawed her hands, removing some skin even (Sorry about that, Jamie!). I don't remember that really, just that I had to roll over to deal with the pain and there was my doctor and my nurses and all of a sudden, there was Samuel.
At 10:24 p.m. on Thursday, December 16th, 2010, Samuel James Behnke made his debut.
He was there! I was stunned! I could not believe I was done already (I know, 26 hours is hardly "done already", but I was still shocked beyond words). I think I truly pushed one time. It was unbelievable.
And it was wonderful. I had had the easiest labor yet. It had been the easiest pregnancy and it was also the easiest recovery. Not that I'm saying it was easy, just the easiest of the three. Makes me want to have more. Smile. Yes, I want one more, but we need to adjust to life with three before we even start thinking about adding another one to the bunch.
And God was in control the whole time. He knew this story from the beginning and used every moment to help form more of His likeness in me. I am awestruck. He is so Good.
So this was for my few dear readers who are gluttons for "Too Much Information". I can't wait to hear your thoughts.
