Shortly after Samuel was born, we had a conference with Silas' first grade teacher. She was beside herself with what to do with our sweet boy, who was also driving us crazy. We figured he was just your average, active 6-year-old boy and that the new baby was just causing him to act-up a little more than usual. She politely disagreed with his activity level being "average" and went on to open our eyes a little to the possibility that he might be on the extreme end of that spectrum, even suggesting that some would recommend medication, although she was quick to point out that she is not a doctor and didn't think that applied to Silas.
We were stunned. I wanted to cry, but I think I was just too exhausted. I'm a realist, so rather than run away or deny, I began the process of researching a possible diagnosis for our "sweet but antsy" child. After extensive reading, a trip to the pediatrician, some blood work, godly counsel from a few wise and trusted friends and a tremendous amount of prayer, I came up with the following conclusion:
Silas does NOT have ADHD.
Whew! But then what's going on with him? Silas is a bright child, so I believe part of the lack of focus that his teacher was seeing from him was simply boredom. But there still was something going on with him - I could see his inability to control his body, falling down
all
the
time.
I thought it was just normal for him, but maybe it didn't have to be.
After the conference, the medical assistant in the classroom (one of his classmates has a terrible nut allergy that is life threatening), Ms. Becky, suggested that we look into the Feingold Program for Silas. Her grandson had benefitted from the diet change and she thought Silas might be a good candidate as well.
The basic idea is to avoid artificial dyes, artificial sweeteners and artificial preservatives. I knew about the dyes and sweeteners, but I hadn't considered the preservatives before. It turns out that Silas is one of the chemically sensitive kids who have a hard time dealing with yucky additives. I took him off of hot lunch at school (full of preservatives, of course), and in one week's time, he was showing considerable improvement.
And so rather than embrace a depressing diagnosis, I began to embrace a new healthy way to eat, from which we can all benefit! I thank God for leading me to this knowledge. Through out this whole ordeal, I was praying that God would show us the way. The Bible promises that he will "gently lead those who have young" (Isaiah 40:11), and I am so grateful for his leading.
Silas has had some difficulty with the diet. It means he can't have what everyone else is having. It means he is sometimes isolated and embarrassed. I am so committed to bringing out the best in him that at times it's hard for me to see things from his perspective. He talks about growing up and going off the diet, and I know that if I'm not careful, I will cultivate a rebellious heart in him by demanding conformity to this strict diet while I can control his circumstances, but as he grows beyond my sphere of influence, he could easily wander into dangerous waters, seeking freedom and pleasure after being denied for so long. It is a difficult journey we are on, and one I'm nervously and prayerfully proceeding on.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Rethinking...
A friend sent this link to me at a very critical time for us, when we were really considering whether or not Silas had ADHD. After seeing the image of a school boy being opened up and filled with anesthetizing drugs versus unzipping him to free his creative potential, I knew that I would not embrace medicating my child. There had to be another answer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U
A super full day, with high-highs and low-lows...
(This originally happened January, 4, 2012. I'm just now getting around to publishing it. Such is my life right now.)
Wednesday was a full day. After getting Silas off to school, I had to take Josiah and Samuel to the pediatrician for their three-year and one-year well checks. Each of them got two vaccinations at the end of the visit. Josiah's were live vaccines and the nurse told me that he would need to really run around today or else his legs would get sore. So I made a mental note to get him moving later and then we were off to the next stop.
Next, we picked up my violin from the music store where I had dropped it last week for some minor repairs. Silas would be starting cello after school, and I wanted it back so that Silas and I could play together that evening.
Samuel fell asleep in the van, so when we got home I had to keep running out to the garage when we got home. Normally, I would just carry him inside, but because of the extra stop, his nap had been long enough that if he woke up, that might be the end of it. It ended up being a really long nap, so I was pretty much on edge the whole afternoon as I sat at the kitchen table with the garage door open (brrrr!), listening should he wake up.
After naps (which did not overlap for very long), it was time to pick Silas up from orchestra. I loaded the little boys up, and then headed out a bit later than I wanted to be, which is becoming typical for me. I should also mention that Josiah had chosen to really prefer underwear to pull-ups, yet just the day before he had a BM in his underwear while we were at a neighbor's house for Bible study. So I was trying to get him to use the toliet before buckling him in for the 30-40 minute round-trip to pick up his brother. Thus, we were cutting it close.
We picked Silas up and loaded his cello in the van. Silas and I were both so excited about this new adventure. We headed home so I could pick up an overdue library and some mail for work that I had left at home accidentally. I'm pretty sure the preschool potty moment was the reason it didn't get into the van.
So now off to the post office and library. Both stops had drive-thru drop boxes, so I knew it would be a quick errand. On the way out of the library parking lot, I noticed a tent set up with a farmer selling some organic meat. He looked Amish, but turns out he's just German Baptist or something. Anyway, very nice man, but very chatty. It took over 20 minutes to finish my transaction, all the while the 3 boys were in the van, Silas occassionally tapping on the window to inform me that it was taking too long, that the cello wasn't supposed to be left in the car on a cold day for more than 10 minutes, that Josiah was screaming and saying potty words and Samuel was crying. Good times. Since the car was still running, I told him the cello would be okay, I threatened to spank Josiah if he said any more potty words, and I wiped Samuel's tears.
After I loaded my parking lot harvest into to the van, my new farmer friend, Dale, came to the window 3 times to tell me something or other. Seriously, chatty fellow.
Finally home, I just didn't feel like heading back out for dinner with daddy as we had sort of planned earlier. Silas was eager to play his cello and the weather was starting to turn. I spent the day before cooking a meal for a friend who had just had surgery, so I was contemplating leftovers (which Josiah usually refuses, no matter what they are), or Chipotle. Steve offered to pick up Chipotle on his way home from work. Thank you, Steve.
So now we were just waiting for dinner to arrive. Samuel was hungry, so I cut up some pear and put him in the high chair to self-feed. Now I turned my attention to getting Josiah moving. He was starting to feel punky but I offered to race him around the stairwell, which happily got him moving and perked him up. And so I was racing around when I heard a choking sound coming from Samuel.
Oh, dear.
I quickly pulled him out of the high chair and patted him on the back.
Still choking and now not making any sound. His airway was completely blocked. I used my little finger to sweep his mouth, but there wasn't much in there and still he was choking. After about 10 seconds I realized that what I was doing wasn't working as quickly as I thought it should, so I picked up the phone and
called 9-1-1.
I had a feeling that everything was going to be fine, but I didn't like how long it was taking and I figured it was best to get help on the way, should I need it.
It seemed like forever, but everything happened so fast. I was praying hard, and beating Samuel on the back. He was foaming and still choking. It was all so scary.
Silas ran in the room and then ran back out. I heard a door shut. I knew he was praying. Later on, I asked him where he went and he told me Daddy's office. He went there to pray. So precious.
Finally, he stopped choking and started crying - a good sign. Oh, thank you, Jesus!! He was pretty upset for a minute or so, then calmed down and basically forgot all about it, right about the time the huge fire engine pulled up in front of our house, lights flashing, followed by the ambulance.
It was rather embarrassing for me as I greeted the paramedics and explained that Samuel had been choking but was now alright. It was awkward as they dismissed the firetruck and all the personnel that came with it. Shortly after they arrived, Steve came in. I can only imagine the terror it struck in his heart to come home and see such a commotion on his street and then realize it was at his house, someone in his family might have been in danger. I had to sheepishly explain to him in front of the paramedics what had happened. Rather humbling.
They checked Samuel's oxygen levels and said some reassuring things like "You did the right thing, Mom". Even though I didn't need any help from them, I still knew it was the right thing to call them because it just wasn't coming out quickly enough on its own and if I did need help, I wanted it to be on the way when it would still be hopeful.
Oh, my!!!
After the flashing lights were turned off and all was quiet at our home, we fell into a hushed routine. I forced myself to give Samuel more pears, peeled and cut-up smaller. He only ate a few, but I didn't want to live in fear, nor did I want him to have a bad association, not that he would have any memory of the event really. After dinner, it was bath and bedtime.
After the two little guys were tucked away, I stole away to the basement with Silas and we had a little jam session in the basement, he on his cello, me on my newly refurbished violin. We were down there way past bedtime, and Steve finally yelled down the stairs to bring me back to reality. Me, the time conscious one, had completely lost track of time! Oh, but what a joy to share music with Silas for the first time!
Too many of my days are jammed packed like this one, but thankfully, they don't have as many extreme moments. Most of the time, they are good things, like Farmer Dale and jam sessions in the basement. And when the scary things creep up, I know my God is faithful and that I am not alone in caring for these little boys.
Wednesday was a full day. After getting Silas off to school, I had to take Josiah and Samuel to the pediatrician for their three-year and one-year well checks. Each of them got two vaccinations at the end of the visit. Josiah's were live vaccines and the nurse told me that he would need to really run around today or else his legs would get sore. So I made a mental note to get him moving later and then we were off to the next stop.
Next, we picked up my violin from the music store where I had dropped it last week for some minor repairs. Silas would be starting cello after school, and I wanted it back so that Silas and I could play together that evening.
Samuel fell asleep in the van, so when we got home I had to keep running out to the garage when we got home. Normally, I would just carry him inside, but because of the extra stop, his nap had been long enough that if he woke up, that might be the end of it. It ended up being a really long nap, so I was pretty much on edge the whole afternoon as I sat at the kitchen table with the garage door open (brrrr!), listening should he wake up.
After naps (which did not overlap for very long), it was time to pick Silas up from orchestra. I loaded the little boys up, and then headed out a bit later than I wanted to be, which is becoming typical for me. I should also mention that Josiah had chosen to really prefer underwear to pull-ups, yet just the day before he had a BM in his underwear while we were at a neighbor's house for Bible study. So I was trying to get him to use the toliet before buckling him in for the 30-40 minute round-trip to pick up his brother. Thus, we were cutting it close.
We picked Silas up and loaded his cello in the van. Silas and I were both so excited about this new adventure. We headed home so I could pick up an overdue library and some mail for work that I had left at home accidentally. I'm pretty sure the preschool potty moment was the reason it didn't get into the van.
So now off to the post office and library. Both stops had drive-thru drop boxes, so I knew it would be a quick errand. On the way out of the library parking lot, I noticed a tent set up with a farmer selling some organic meat. He looked Amish, but turns out he's just German Baptist or something. Anyway, very nice man, but very chatty. It took over 20 minutes to finish my transaction, all the while the 3 boys were in the van, Silas occassionally tapping on the window to inform me that it was taking too long, that the cello wasn't supposed to be left in the car on a cold day for more than 10 minutes, that Josiah was screaming and saying potty words and Samuel was crying. Good times. Since the car was still running, I told him the cello would be okay, I threatened to spank Josiah if he said any more potty words, and I wiped Samuel's tears.
After I loaded my parking lot harvest into to the van, my new farmer friend, Dale, came to the window 3 times to tell me something or other. Seriously, chatty fellow.
Finally home, I just didn't feel like heading back out for dinner with daddy as we had sort of planned earlier. Silas was eager to play his cello and the weather was starting to turn. I spent the day before cooking a meal for a friend who had just had surgery, so I was contemplating leftovers (which Josiah usually refuses, no matter what they are), or Chipotle. Steve offered to pick up Chipotle on his way home from work. Thank you, Steve.
So now we were just waiting for dinner to arrive. Samuel was hungry, so I cut up some pear and put him in the high chair to self-feed. Now I turned my attention to getting Josiah moving. He was starting to feel punky but I offered to race him around the stairwell, which happily got him moving and perked him up. And so I was racing around when I heard a choking sound coming from Samuel.
Oh, dear.
I quickly pulled him out of the high chair and patted him on the back.
Still choking and now not making any sound. His airway was completely blocked. I used my little finger to sweep his mouth, but there wasn't much in there and still he was choking. After about 10 seconds I realized that what I was doing wasn't working as quickly as I thought it should, so I picked up the phone and
called 9-1-1.
I had a feeling that everything was going to be fine, but I didn't like how long it was taking and I figured it was best to get help on the way, should I need it.
It seemed like forever, but everything happened so fast. I was praying hard, and beating Samuel on the back. He was foaming and still choking. It was all so scary.
Silas ran in the room and then ran back out. I heard a door shut. I knew he was praying. Later on, I asked him where he went and he told me Daddy's office. He went there to pray. So precious.
Finally, he stopped choking and started crying - a good sign. Oh, thank you, Jesus!! He was pretty upset for a minute or so, then calmed down and basically forgot all about it, right about the time the huge fire engine pulled up in front of our house, lights flashing, followed by the ambulance.
It was rather embarrassing for me as I greeted the paramedics and explained that Samuel had been choking but was now alright. It was awkward as they dismissed the firetruck and all the personnel that came with it. Shortly after they arrived, Steve came in. I can only imagine the terror it struck in his heart to come home and see such a commotion on his street and then realize it was at his house, someone in his family might have been in danger. I had to sheepishly explain to him in front of the paramedics what had happened. Rather humbling.
They checked Samuel's oxygen levels and said some reassuring things like "You did the right thing, Mom". Even though I didn't need any help from them, I still knew it was the right thing to call them because it just wasn't coming out quickly enough on its own and if I did need help, I wanted it to be on the way when it would still be hopeful.
Oh, my!!!
After the flashing lights were turned off and all was quiet at our home, we fell into a hushed routine. I forced myself to give Samuel more pears, peeled and cut-up smaller. He only ate a few, but I didn't want to live in fear, nor did I want him to have a bad association, not that he would have any memory of the event really. After dinner, it was bath and bedtime.
After the two little guys were tucked away, I stole away to the basement with Silas and we had a little jam session in the basement, he on his cello, me on my newly refurbished violin. We were down there way past bedtime, and Steve finally yelled down the stairs to bring me back to reality. Me, the time conscious one, had completely lost track of time! Oh, but what a joy to share music with Silas for the first time!
Too many of my days are jammed packed like this one, but thankfully, they don't have as many extreme moments. Most of the time, they are good things, like Farmer Dale and jam sessions in the basement. And when the scary things creep up, I know my God is faithful and that I am not alone in caring for these little boys.
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